Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you would pick up someone in the library
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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