tell your sister to shave her snatch
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
