called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize