i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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