Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
