I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
