Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
NoShamevember. You game?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
