If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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