How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
