I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
