she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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