First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
