I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
