I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
