Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
