did you get engaged???
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
