So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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