Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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