She went from zero to smokin in five shots
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
