ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think a kid would responsible me up
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize