she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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