"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
