Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
