Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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