Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
