i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize