your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
