He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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