As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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