Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
