perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
