No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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