i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
