dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
