North Korea, Best Korea!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
