So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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