Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
