watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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