i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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