yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
