The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
