I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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