You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
