You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
