the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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