Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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