Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
