Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
