you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
