there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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