Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
