yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
