I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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