I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
