Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
