McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
