what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
