I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
