Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
