Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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