My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
